eelslap

As I mentioned in the last blog entry, for reasons not clear to me, people will go to the sword fighters before the EMTs. (Yes, I put my foot down and will *escort* certain people) And it’s true we do get injured but not for the reasons you think we do.

I’ve had performers be taken out of the roster by cardboard boxes(two in fact, one with blood poisoning, one with a concussion) but as that wasn’t directly related to a performance, I’m going to try to stick to the ones that happened at/because of a show.

Twisted Ankle; this one has happened so many ways that I’ve stopped counting
1) Stepping out of a van to unpack for a show
2) Getting caught in a gopher hole in a field
3) Running to a performance (We have an unspoken rule that goes under “be professional” that covers this. So when people run, they get glares)

Deep cuts from
1) the crosspiece (not the blade) that required a stitch
2) fence posts
3) Using a pocket knife while cutting rope (we now use either the whole rope or bungees.)

Burns
1) baking cookies for crew,  burned hands,  so had to call out of a show
2) This one gets its own paragraph.

At a show where we were exclusively doing fire, our most popular fire eater walked up and said
“Ithnant do the thow Ibumm ma mouf”
Yeah, I didn’t understand either so with some pantomime and charades I figured out that she had burned her mouth and couldn’t do the show. It stumped me-I hadn’t seen her practicing and she had a cast iron mouth with no gag reflex. I had to ask how she’d burned her mouth. How, you ask? On a perogi. Not a torch with white gas, a perogi. And it had been hot enough to damage her lips and mouth  so she couldn’t do the show. (At least not that night)

And then there are head injuries
When using swords, we are *very* careful about these because first of all your brain is in there! And then head injuries bleed like Niagara Falls.
1) Doing a recovery roll into a truck ramp (Ta-Da!)
2) Stepping into a tree
3) Hitting self with own hilt

Anyone who tells you they have never had a ridiculous injury must be wearing a bubble-wrap suit. I’m not saying that if you have a red marker on your personal insurance as “hazard” that is a good thing, I’m just saying every show that you do takes you another percentage to doing the unexpected. And all the safety training in the world will not survive contact with Murphy’s Law. It will only help your percentages. And this is a great way to bond with other performers and to help people sort of unthaw around you if they are intimidated. My partner, always the silver lining guy, will grin and say
“Sympathy tips!”

And if you enjoyed the image above-eelslap.com

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